Hpnotiq

That was before i was in a relationship.

If you don´t know, Fredrik and i had a long distance relationship in the beginning.

Eventually it ended up with me moving to his hometown where he growed up, where he has his family, he has his friends, he has everyone he´s ever known in this town. And i know absolutely no one.

That was really really difficult for me because it's difficult to have your own life when you don´t have friends, when you don´t have family near.

 

And even if i always seen myself as a independent person, i was so dependent on Fredrik and his friends and family and whatever and like, they where the only people i met and i was always Fredriks girlfriend. 

I moved to his city which made me Fredriks girlfriend in the city because everybody knows Fredrik, no one knows me and i was never in no situation an everyday life, was i me. I was always his girlfriend. Which was really difficult for me, and it´s difficult to do anything about it as well. 

I can feel now that I have taken hold of my photography, where I meet a lot of new people, no one knows who Fredrik is. So i´m not Fredriks girlfriend when im doing photography, i´m me and people get to know me for me.

 

And i made friends through photography as well and they don´t know my boyfriend, so there i also get to be just me. and i also met other people in this town that have become my friends that are not my boyfriends friends who also are my friends. 

I feel like i've got some of my independence back. I´ve only lived in this town since the end of February and it takes so long to create a whole new everyday life in a new town. 

i'm giving it time. i feel more at home now than in the beginning.

But it has been worth it, of course. I would not change any of this.

I don't regret moving here at all. It's just been a struggle and some things in life are a struggle.

 

So to answer your questions: Yes i have lost independence by moving to this city but i'm getting it back slowly but surely. Independence is extremely important in a relationship but you have to allowed it to go up and down. Sometimes you will be more dependent on your partner, sometimes you will be less dependent and sometimes they wont be dependent on you and you wont be dependent on them etc.

So it will not always be smooth sailing perfect independence wise but it does play an important part. You can not have a entirely relationship while being super dependent on the other person. You have to be yourself, live your life for you and share it with your partner.